PART- 4

How to Discipline?

• A Toddler:
  
  The main problem is that Toddlers are curious and want to be independent. Since their experiences are still limited, they are not able to distinguish between what is safe and what is not. Their inquisitiveness (how happy are we, while proclaiming - my child wants to know everything!) is a major stepping-stone in their development and learning skills. The same inquisitiveness can land them in trouble. We must protect them from inadvertent harm by keeping them away from valuable and dangerous objects. Toddlers need a safe environment.
  
  
• In Pre school age and beyond
  In the age bracket of 3 to 5, children are beginning to learn how share, care and get returns. They start taking pride in growing up as well as in their accomplishments.
  
  When problems arise, they usually resolve them without adult interference. It is us adults who unnecessarily meddle and create major fights.
  
  Pre-schoolers still have strong emotions, but with our support and guidance they learn to channel them.

What can parents do?

1. All parents must know about normal patterns of development. This would enable them to know what to expect from children in different age groups. Now, toddlers are possessive and if mother does not know about this she may mistake this possessiveness with selfishness. Parents should know that children become more generous as they grow older, especially if they have seen generosity around (another example of environment affecting behavior)
   
   
2. We must respect children’s emotions. If we ignore, punish or laugh at them, it may make them shy, defiant, or demanding.
   
   
3. Distracting from misbehavior. If a child is about to misbehave in some body else’s house, distracting his attention by toys, food etc may help.
   
   
4. Use logical consequences – make your child accountable both for his problems and decisions. Commonest logical consequence is temporary withdrawl of a privilege.
   
   
5. No Physical punishment. If you feel that your child is getting out of control, think again. So called out of control children are already aggressive. Physical punishment teaches them to be more aggressive.
   
   
6. Don’t scream. It teaches your child to shout back. You are actually legalizing screaming verbal duets.
   
   
7. Positive reinforcement – Don’t forget to reward good and desirable behavior. Praise your child publicly whenever you notice good behavior.

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