Molding a child, concerns all parents. We are constantly doing something or other to make
our child do better in studies, inculcate better discipline, excel in sports, learn social
interaction and various other aspects depending on our own vision and capabilities. Whether
we aware of it or not we are constantly shaping our child as molding is an integral part of
parenting. Parenting basically has to do with training, disciplining, molding and at times
forcing children to live as parents dictate. Forcing a child to adapt to what we think is
right or what we feel the child should be doing is forceful parenting. Forceful parenting
often does more damage to our children than it does good. It can demolish self-confidence
and destroy imagination.
We should strive to ensure that our children learn to experience and express themselves as
free human beings. Now-a-days we have parents who, even before the child is completed one
year, decide to turn them into another Sachin or Aishwarya. Most of the problems with
adolescents can be traced back to an early age when they learned they were to just follow
orders.
Children who have to comply rigidly with what is expected of them, develop neither own
vision nor accountability. When not nurtured, their God given lights dim and they just
follow their peers or the heroes that are fed to them by the entertainment media.
Some parents, on the other hand, are proud that their children are quiet and polite and
that they have done their job very well. They don�t realize that child is not just quiet
but complacent. These children behave this way because they have stopped to think.
What exactly is molding?
Guiding your child to achieve his/ her true potential is good parenting. Real molding is
when your child already has some abnormal behaviour that is either against the norms of
society or is affecting his overall growth and development and you correct that.
The question that bothers most parents is: "What is more important: to shower a child with
love and let the nature take its course or to provide intellectual stimulation?" The latest
theory maintains that the one complements the other. In the past, it was thought that love
could develop a child and compensate for lack of intellectual stimulation, today it is
clear that to develop a child´s mind and mould his personality mental stimulation
initiated by the parents is decisive, without which, the normal emotional and social
development of a child can be lacking.
Leading luminaries in child psychotherapy vests the parents with the bulk of the
responsibility for the successful development of their children. Ideally, parents should
rouse their curiosity by pumping them full of information. When they grow up, they feel
free to ask questions about all kinds of things in their environment as their curiosity
would have been developed to a keen edge. This is the ideal combination for the development
of intelligence: stability, confidence and realization of a child's potential from age zero
by broadening his horizons.
Parents directly influence their child's development and behavior. They must be aware of
this.
The ancient controversy of heredity versus environment has long ago been resolved.
Although heredity has a dominant role, but the importance of intellectual stimulation and
nvironmental support can not be ignored.
In an attempt to mould the child, most parents push their children beyond their
capacity.
Are you pushing your child too much? - Our next theme!
Send us your opinions/suggestions/experiences at ceo@growingwell.com