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Fathers! Start Mothering

Father’s role in upbringing of the child

Fathers of today keep postponing spending time with their little ones under the pretext that on a holiday they would go out or for a picnic and have REAL fun. What they don’t realize is that child needs it THEN and not whenever.
For the child the quantum of time matters more than the ambience they spend it in.

Father Child relationship

Father is supposed to be a vital factor in the baby’s development, but more often, is not. Even in Double Income families (i.e. both parents working) mothers spend more time with the child. Not many fathers, of course realize/accept this.

Need of the hour

Fathers should find time to get involved in bringing up children and not merely to provide the funds and an occasional hug or pat!

A leading newspaper of America proclaims that ‘Children With Father In Family Have A Head-Start In Life’ and goes on to suggest that young children who spend decent time with their father are better learners, have higher self-esteem than others who only get the so called Quality Time from their dads.

A study published in Britain clearly shows that "a father’s presence and involvement benefits the child". It goes on to add, "Now, we need to find ways to encourage the positive and supportive roles of fathers in the lives of their children. Kids definitely benefit from having a man around and they especially benefit if the man is loving and supportive".

Another finding, based on interviews of 6-year olds in the US, shows that those youngsters who have supportive fathers have a greater sense of social acceptance.

Child needs a Role Model and who better than Father!  

The million-dollar question is how to convince them how important it is?

Why must a Father do it?

This must be done in the spirit of equal partnership and not merely out of compassion, generosity or a special favor. A father must consider care of the child as vital as his job or career. He must contribute to all the facets of home and childcare, more so when the spouse too is holding an outside job.

Do they try?

Yes, they do! But in true corporate style when a father has a mind to do the fathering - he postpones sharing childcare with his wife till the baby grows a bit. This doesn’t help. Precious time is lost in such an approach. Before long, the mother turns out to be an expert in taking care of the child and he is still engrossed in his planning.

Advantage of Father’s involvement

  1. Father’s sharing in childcare has its own advantages. Firstly, it lightens the pressure on his wife. Secondly it provides her badly needed companionship, especially in a nuclear family with no support from elders. Thirdly, child gets love from both and grows up without any kind of sexist bias.
  2. In addition, he also gives his wife a sort of mental satisfaction and contentment. The knowledge that her husband realizes bringing up the child is the responsibility of both parents and that sharing is very important for both of them, gives her immense satisfaction.
  3. It provides balance. Men and women complement each other – men teach children to be fearless, while women teach them about the dangers. Man might encourage a child to go to the top of the tree, while the women would warn them to be careful not to fall off.
  4. It adds up to the security and development of the child. With fathers becoming involved with their offspring; children are likely to seek more comfort from them. It is seen that fathers are young children’s preferred playmates, not just for boys but for girls as well.

What kind of care can the father contribute?

Right from child’s care by feeding, changing nappies or dress, washing the pottie, putting him to bed and playing with him. In case of somewhat older child, he can read or relate interesting stories to amuse and educate the child, teach him discipline, break quarrels with other children and assist him in doing homework.

Let us see an example - A 2 year old is by nature an imitator. He is eager to imitate the father. To make sure that this tendency is encouraged and proves gratifying, father must be in command. He must act as a balanced authority that, as far as possible, everybody obeys.

Be careful!

Authoritarian Father : If the father ever tries to be authoritarian, asserting himself ruthlessly over wife and the child, it is bound to prove counterproductive. It may backfire, inviting troubles in as much as that the child becomes either inhibited or rebellious.

Weak Father : It must also be noted that a father, who is far too shy and submissive to be a role model is just the opposite of the so-called "authoritarian father". This situation too causes anxiety, insecurity and several adjustment and behavioral problems, in an unstable child.

To Summarize

A happy relationship, partnership and harmony between parents form the sheet anchor of healthy upbringing of the child.

Post us your views in this matter at These will be put up in the parents response section.

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