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Whether you are a parent who is reading these lines above or a teacher both will surely agree to this remark. Our children are our future in all respects.
I've seen parents who decide the future career route for his /her child before they are born. Some with conviction say my child can never become any thing lesser than that, others thinking they are giving space for him /her say "I wish he become this ... Of course his choice". But this statement is repeated at least 20 times a day to people and made sure that the child hears it every time!

I over heard a conversation between a second standard child and his parent. The child was trying to tell his mother that he got "very good" for his drawing. But trust me, his mother had other interests! She wanted to know how many words were correct in his English dictation. His answer 7/10 made mother enquire how much his friend got and also the girl who stood first last time. All these conversations ended with him realizing that he needs to be like that girl. Who will praise him for his drawing? What will the mother do if he starts comparing her for her looks, knowledge or for any other quality with his friends mum or expect her to take that mother as a model. Our future, our children never do it back to us. They don't want to hurt us you know.

I had a teacher who had expectations in my friend that she will do nothing but the best. My poor friend needed reassurance for every act she did, that she was 'the best' and not she did 'her best'.
Doing 'your best' and doing 'the best' has lot of difference. One asks for immaculateness and the other excellence.

That reminds me of a quote "Nothing is perfect in this world. So one should target excellence, not perfection"

The latest trend that we see is to prepare the future for rat race. We rarely realize that by the end of the day I still remain a rat; whether I win or lose!

I met recently a student of 10th Std student busily preparing for her exams. She feels her hard work never pays her. She confided that she studies when ever she gets time, never play or spends time with family or friends. Her percentage in the second model paper was 93.3% but she is class second and she never could be the first. Her classmate has 93.6% and this difference prevailed since 8th Std. She could never top her. Her friend was always in 92-93 % level but she moved from 84 - 93%. What a giant leap for her but so sad she could never enjoy this leap as she was in the rat race. I wish she could stop and turn around to see how much she had excelled.

Dear parents & teachers lets teach our future to excel in whatever field the wish to. Our dreams, our wishes, our perfections cannot be the bench mark for others.

Every one is different and thus no two people can be same. As a parent /teacher I can't search for one person's quality in another nor can I persuade some one to be like me or some body I expect them to be. What is easier is to accept others, help them to excel in what they are good and at and celebrate differences.

Let me tell my future this ...

If u can't fly, then run

If u can't run then walk

If u can't walk then crawl

But what ever you do, keep moving ...

Radhika Mohan
Working in the helping profession as a Psychologist, Teacher


For any clarification askaq@growingwell.com